In this modern day and age, it’s the dream of every gentleman of age to marry a hardworking and faithful woman who can support him financially and socially and also give their wards a better future.
The story therefore turns to the negative side when the woman in question already comes into the matrimonial home with a child. BBC Ghana Accra-base reporter, Nii Kwei Otu makes a survey and it clearly indicates that some men in the Greater Accra Region would not even think of dating born-one ladies let alone marrying them.
Those who are with the view that born one moms are simply the best were relatively few as it was estimated at 25.7%. In the years gone by, single moms were seen as a marital failure, bad example to emulate and wrong influence on younger women.
As many as 74.3% of our respondents in the survey conducted by the BBC Ghana reporter sees born one women as ‘wayward’ which it believed was why they had or raised children out of wedlock. At social gatherings, at that time, single elderly men were treated like outcasts, even by members of their own families.
“Born One Moms” as teased are treated as “s3x-addicts” in their early stages of their lives. Most of them do not even gather the courage to continue their education after delivery. Those who gather the courage to also pursue their education dream feel so shy to let others know they have a son or daughter somewhere.
The BBC Ghana new research, measuring public perception on single mom further revealed that some parents even threatened that, they will not accept the marriage proposal from their sons if they approach them with the plans of marrying a “born one” – single mom.
Who is a single mom? She is that woman with potential for greatness, the queen of her future husband, mother of children, adorable daughter-in-law and a great manager of family resources who, by fate, ignorance, mistake or desperation, become a mother.
Some become moms by naivety while in school, others by infatuation, deceit, waywardness, peer pressure or influence, failed marriages or relationships and sexual abuse like rape or incest. Only a few get pregnant in a bid to hook men into marriage.
The only single moms acceptable to the society are the widows. The truth remains that being a single mom is not a crime. It is wrong to stigmatise them. Quite a number of single moms are more truthful than some “innocent” women who pretend and lie about everything.
What people don’t know about single moms is that, single moms are humble, friendlier, persevering and contented. They seem to value men more than their married or single counterparts. In Nigeria, at least, three single moms had become First Ladies of the country.
There’s no denying the fact that being a single mom has lessened the pressure of marrying in desperation for the purpose of having children. It has also allayed the fear of infertility or a prolonged delay in fruitfulness.
To marry a single mom is a confirmed open market, not a black market. Single moms do show understanding in times of need, rather, they strive to add more value and support to their partners.