Soon, a new number started calling me on Whatsapp and as I expected, it was Habiba—her rusty voice was pleasantly unique, and as the conversation drove on, I also noticed that her intermittent butchering of the Queen’s language was somewhat a distinguishing trait too. I wouldn’t blame the latter on her dropping out of school to become a young wife but rather, the haste with which she wants to deliver her words.
The opening of our conversation would come off as hostile to her, but that’s common when dealing with me. After the usual opening greetings, she said: “I hope you are not recording me or this conversation.”
To the above I replied: “If you do not trust me, why did you call me? I didn’t call you and neither did I ask you to call me so if you are not comfortable talking to me, you can just cut the call.”
She backed down, and responded: “I trust you…I was just asking.”
The opening remarks itself is fairly a prima facie evidence of a woman who jumps in at things or with comments without proper evaluation and when chased out, would coil down like the proverbial sick cat—to settle in.
Habiba had called with two folds of flawed intentions: to explain her unfortunate comments she made on radio which was fetching her an avalanche of unfettered social media criticisms and insults, and to make it even worse with new shocking comments, wrongly placed, as her net of restitution.
In-between these two layers were her glaring innocence and immaturity. Somehow, when I asked her why she would marry at the age of 21 and even ditch medical school for that, she managed to tell me and herself that she thinks she is too mature for her age even. Her conduct and the word maturity in a sentence is a classic example of an ‘oxymoron.’
But she was candid, a hallmark of most innocent and immature people. She told me that she is bitter, very bitter and she is constantly hurting because of what Majeed Waris and his family have done to her.
Asked about what they did, she stated, inter alia, that, the family largely caused her marriage to end as they would flood her matrimonial home in their numbers as much as 7, to spend as long as they want in ‘her house’. She accused Waris’ mother of constantly invading her matrimonial home with a bunch of family members and that her bedroom was not even spared.
She said the marriage was suffocating—and when she complained, her then husband told her that in their tribe, her in-laws could visit anytime. She summarized the relationship between Waris and his family with her in the middle as one that was symptomatic of a man who placed his family before her. She felt she was not her man’s priority.
Habiba may have a point but she is offensively childish, and I am going to cite a comment she made to support my claim of immaturity. I hope this comment will only be regarded as coming from a woman who has falsely convinced herself that she is intelligent and mature, when she even lacks basic use of euphemism.
She said Majeed Waris was the one who kept chasing her at the beginning of their relationship and that she was not interested in him because of his tribe. With interest and tribe mentioned, I probed further. She explained, innocuously, that because he is a certain tribe (I have intentionally omitted the tribe) she was just not interested—despite she also coming from the northern part of Ghana.
However, after sometime of pursuit from the footballer, she suddenly fell in love with him—I didn’t ask about how that became possible and whether gifts were showered on her. She only knew him for about 2 years as long distant pal, prior to their marriage, she mentioned.
She said in her radio comments that Waris was illiterate, below her standard and his family is a ‘nobody’ family. So I asked, “you knew the man was illiterate and below your standard—yet you proceeded to marry him. Did you do so because of his money?” She replied, “it was not about money for me because he never gave me any money even as a wife—it was about love.”
On how spiteful Majeed Waris’ mother and the other family allegedly treated her, I asked this: “when you people were dating him, did you not see any sign of the family being deeply involved in his life and always visiting? If you did and you were not in for that, why did you marry him as you seem to suggest the family’s cruel invasion is somewhat of his tribe or culture and wouldn’t have just started after the marriage?”
She said she did not experience that. Then again, it does not seem to me Waris and Habiba knew themselves very well, let alone to know their families inside out, before even getting married.
This ties into the fact that Habiba claims her entire family was against her marrying Majeed Waris but she snubbed them and proceeded to marry the footballer. Why was her family not in support of the marriage? I should have asked—right?
When questioned on why she would quit medical school just to get married to a footballer as she stated on radio—especially at the age of 21, she said, that comment was misinterpreted. Perhaps misrepresented by herself rather.
She stated that while Majeed Waris’ family insisted a woman does not need to go to school or be educated, she was unwavering, and said she would only get married to the footballer on condition that she would be allowed to continue her medical school. However, things changed after she got married.
She was promised of a transfer of her education to France. But it became apparent after marriage that the transfer wasn’t possible from a Ghana medical school to another in France. So, she opted to study a management course at a university in France, a little far from a football club her husband was to play football at. This also did not materialize as her husband didn’t continue with that club.
Habiba believes she has been unfairly treated and told me about how when she went to give birth to her child in America, she became depressed because her husband or nobody really came to visit her in the United States.
“You got married to a footballer, you shouldn’t have expected a lot of family time in a different country at the peak of his career or during the football session,” I said. She rebutted, “he could have taken time off if he really wanted—but he didn’t care and wasn’t there for me.”
A man pays for his wife to go and deliver in the United States of America and pays all the bills—that’s a privilege, some will even call it a blessing. But Habiba thinks she deserved more. And of course she deserved to have her man around.
Pockets of online reports suggested in the past that Habiba’s pregnancy at the time was not for her husband—and she confirmed that her husband’s family accused her of adultery. But she said, “the child looked exactly like Waris when he was born” so all those accusations are untrue.
Habiba told me that Waris does not take care of his child and it has been months since he even saw the child. In fact, she blocked Waris, the father of her child on Whatsapp to prevent him from contacting her because of unending hurt, anytime he called.
She mentioned that on two occasions, she bought plane tickets with her own money for the child and herself to travel to France so that Waris would spend time with the child but the footballer refused and they did not even see him.
“Why would you buy tickets and fly to France without having a prior arrangement with Waris,” I asked. She said, “all I wanted was for him to be there for his child and for the child to grow up knowing his father but Waris has shown that he is not interested.”
The child is currently in school and Habiba said she foots the school fees and every bill alone—Waris does not give a fuck.
Habiba mentioned that Waris was somewhat abusive to her but she does not want to dwell on that or even call that domestic violence—and that she even has photo evidence which she does not want in the public domain.
Before ending my conversations with Habiba, I asked whether it would ever be possible for her to return to her marriage. And she said, only under one condition—and the condition is that Waris’ family wouldn’t be allowed to come to her matrimonial home and poke their noses into her marriage.
Of course, Habiba is disappointed, childish, bitter and deeply hurt—and her words reflect these. If not, why would she still have a condition under which she will return to marry an illiterate, useless, below her standard man from a ‘nobody’ family? Habiba mentioned that she is currently working as an actress and a model–and I believe back to studying midwifery.
Source: Chris-Vincent Agyapong